The questions that really help you decide if a nursery is right for your family

The questions that really help you decide if a nursery is right for your family

Once you’ve shortlisted a few nurseries, the most helpful thing you can do is move beyond surface-level impressions and start asking questions that reveal how the nursery actually functions day to day. Websites and brochures can tell you a lot, but they rarely show you how children are supported when things don’t go to plan — and that is often where the quality of care really becomes clear.

It's worth asking what a typical day looks like, not in broad terms, but in practical detail. Understanding how the day flows, how children move between activities & transitions are managed, as well as how routines are structured gives you a much clearer picture of whether the environment will suit your child’s temperament, personality and energy levels.

The settling-in process is another area where nurseries can differ significantly. Ask how this is managed and, importantly, what happens if your child does not settle quickly. A thoughtful nursery should be able to explain how they adapt the process to your child, rather than expecting your child to adapt to the nursery.

Communication with parents is also key. Find out how you will be updated on your child’s progress and day-to-day experiences. Whether this is through daily handovers, digital apps, photos, or regular meetings, the emphasis should be on meaningful communication rather than just tick-box updates.

Food and mealtimes are an important part of the nursery day and often reflect a setting’s overall approach to care. Ask where children eat, what they eat, and whether you can see a sample menu. Look for variety, fresh fruit and vegetables, and clarity around how food is prepared. It is also important to understand whether meals are cooked on site, how allergies and dietary requirements are managed, and how mealtimes are supported for younger children or those learning to feed themselves.

Outdoor time should be a regular and valued part of the day, not an occasional extra. Ask how often children go outside, how outdoor play is used within the curriculum, and whether the outdoor space and equipment are well maintained. Some nurseries also take children out into the local community or offer additional sessions such as music, movement, or language classes. If this is the case, it is worth understanding where children go, who goes with them, whether there are external providers, and whether these experiences involve extra costs or booking processes.

Nursery life is often broken up by events throughout the year, such as seasonal celebrations, performances, or parent stay-and-play sessions. While these should never feel obligatory, they can give insight into how the nursery builds relationships with families and creates a sense of community.

When it comes to the physical environment, look closely at how children are organised within the space. Some nurseries offer free-flow environments where children move between areas, while others use age-appropriate rooms. Ask how many children are in each room and what the staff-to-child ratios are, as this has a direct impact on the level of individual attention children receive.

Practical considerations also matter. Ask what the nursery provides and what you are expected to supply, such as nappies, wipes, or bedding. Ask how sleep is managed, including where children sleep, whether naps are scheduled, and whether the nursery can mirror your child’s routine from home if needed.

Support for children with additional needs is another area that needs careful discussion. A quality nursery should be able to explain how they identify and support differing needs, how they work with families, and how they access additional training or external support when required. Similarly, behaviour should be managed with understanding and consistency, not through punishment style approaches. Ask how the nursery supports emotional regulation, boundaries, and age-appropriate behaviour.

While visiting, take time to speak to staff who are interacting with the children. Ask what the children are doing and why. You should ideally hear explanations that reflect learning through play, exploration, and interaction, rather than comments that suggest children are “just playing” with no deeper understanding of the purpose behind the play.

Staff experience and leadership make a significant difference to the quality of care. Find out how staff are qualified, how many hold paediatric first aid training, and how long the manager has been in post. Speaking directly with the manager, if possible, can give valuable insight into how hands-on they are and how the nursery is led day to day.

Finally, consider safety and logistics. The building should feel secure, well maintained, and appropriate for young children. Equipment should be in good condition, ideally offering open-ended play opportunities rather than relying heavily on plastic, single-use toys. Ask what procedures are in place for emergencies and consider practicalities such as parking and access, as daily drop-offs and pick-ups should not add mean you starting off your day in a state of stress.

These conversations will not only help you gather information but will also give you a sense of how open, reflective, and child-focused a nursery really is — which often tells you far more than any checklist ever could.

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