Tandem feeding: Loving and growing two babies, one boob at a time

It’s National Siblings Day today, so let’s talk about the world of tandem feeding–where breastmilk feeds and nurtures not just one, but two of a mother’s children. It’s a beautiful journey of nourishment and connection (not to mention grace & patience!) that deserves the spotlight. As a lactation consultant in Dubai, I haven’t seen a lot of tandem feeding here. I wonder if that’s because the tandem breastfeeding Mama’s are such seasoned pros that they don’t need my help, or if it’s because it’s not a societal ‘norm’, so not spoken about?

Tandem feeding, the art of breastfeeding siblings of different ages simultaneously, is a testament to the incredible capabilities of the female body and the unbreakable bond between mother and child. It isn’t for everyone, and some mother’s never intend to tandem feed, which is why it’s also proof of a mother’s patience and tolerance!

The benefits of tandem feeding

• Efficiency at its finest: Tandem feeding is a time-saving marvel. With two hungry mouths to feed, efficiency is key. By nursing both children together, you save precious minutes and energy, leaving more time for cuddles and play.‍
• Soothing sibling rivalry: Every breastfeeding mother knows that breast milk is the best parenting tool invented….it soothes and calms almost any situation. Breastfeeding can also be a balm for sibling rivalry. When both children are latched on, they’re not just sharing milk; they’re sharing a moment of peace and closeness, helping to create a bond that lasts a lifetime. While they’re both nursing, at least they’re not fighting!‍
• Balanced supply: Tandem feeding helps to maintain a balanced milk supply. The demand from two nurslings signals your body to produce more milk, ensuring an ample supply for both babies. We know that breastmilk works on a supply and demand basis, and two little ones demanding helps out with any supply issues.

Navigating potential hurdles

While tandem feeding can be a beautiful experience, it’s not without its challenges. From latch issues to logistical hurdles, here are some potential difficulties you might encounter:

• ‍Juggling act: Balancing the needs of two children can feel like a circus act at times. Finding a comfortable position where both babies can latch effectively might require some trial and error, especially for trips out of the house. The great thing about breastfeeding in Dubai is that it’s extremely accepted by the public. There are breastfeeding facilities everywhere, especially in Malls. They usually have comfortable chairs to nurse in and are very clean, unlike other places where mothers are literally told to breastfeed in the toilets. Breastfeeding in public does require an element of discreetness, but no more than anywhere else. This is easily met by using a nursing cover, or by using the old-fashioned ‘one up/one down’ style of clothing to preserve your modesty.‍
• Milk imbalance: One concern with tandem feeding is ensuring that each child receives their fair share of milk. Pay attention to cues from both babies and switch sides if necessary to ensure adequate milk transfer. During the first few days of breastfeeding, give your newborn first refusal at the breast so that they can gain the maximum health and nutrition benefits of the liquid gold that is colostrum. After the early days, work with your older child to allow the baby to nurse first by making their breastfeeding about them. It’s their time with you where their new sibling isn’t centre of attention. This of course has the added benefit of helping to prevent any jealousy your older child may feel towards the new baby.

Promoting success in tandem feeding

• ‍Seek support: Surround yourself with a supportive network of lactation consultants, fellow mothers, and online communities. Sharing experiences and seeking advice can make the journey smoother, just the same as having a village does if you’re not tandem feeding.‍
• Practice patience: Like any new skill, tandem feeding takes practice. Be patient with yourself and your babies as you work through this stage of motherhood together. If you find tandem nursing isn’t for you, then ask for advice on the best way to discontinue it, and go back to feeding just one baby.

Optimal nourishment for both babies

Ensuring that each baby receives the best and most optimal amount of milk is a top priority for tandem-feeding mothers. Here are some tips:

• Monitor weight gain: Keep a close eye on both babies' weight gain to ensure they’re thriving. Regular visits to a healthcare provider can provide valuable insights into their growth and development. You can also monitor this at home with your own set of baby scales, in case you’d like to keep a closer eye.‍
• Follow baby’s cues: Trust your instincts and follow your babies' cues. If one baby seems hungrier or more unsettled, offer them extra feeds as needed. Breastfeeding a child is so often about more than nutrition, it’s about comfort and security too.

Navigating society’s judgements

In a society where breastfeeding norms vary widely, tandem feeding can sometimes attract unwarranted attention or judgement. Here’s how to navigate societal pressures if you ever face any.

• ‍Educate and advocate: Arm yourself with knowledge about the benefits of tandem feeding and confidently educate others who may question your choices- if you so choose to. This is not a necessity. Sometimes, you may feel like ignoring the judgement and opinions of others. You do what you need to to maintain your peace.‍
• Confidence is key: Remember that you’re making the best choice for your children, and that’s all that matters. Hold your head high and breastfeed with confidence, regardless of societal opinions. It does not matter at all what a random stranger in the mall thinks of you. The impact of their opinion on your family’s choices is zero.

Tandem feeding is a remarkable journey that many mothers never envisioned themselves doing. It’s nurturing, loving, and selfless (not to mention sometimes incredibly hard, other times the easiest thing in the world). Embrace the challenges, celebrate the victories, and (try to) enjoy every moment spent breastfeeding your little ones. You’re doing an incredible job, mama, and Lullabies is here to support you every step of the way.

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