Mums’ WhatsApp groups: The good, the bad, the ugly (and the downright unsafe)

Mums’ WhatsApp groups: The good, the bad, the ugly (and the downright unsafe)

If you live in Dubai and you’re a mum, chances are you’re in at least one WhatsApp group you never actively chose to be in.

One minute you’re pregnant or new to an area, the next you’ve been added to:
“JVC Mums 2026 ”
“FS1 Parents WhatsApp”
“Playdate Crew”
“Nursery Updates”
…and about twelve more you muted immediately but forgot to leave. Dubai runs on WhatsApp. Schools. Nurseries. Nannies. Drivers. Community updates. And yes — mums. WhatsApp groups can be brilliant. They can also be overwhelming, unhelpful, anxiety-inducing, and occasionally… unsafe. Let’s talk about all of it — without pretending they’re either magical or evil (Although I do call one of the bigger Mums' WhatsApps i'm in 'the oracle'!).

The good: when mum groups actually work

At their best, WhatsApp mum groups can be a lifeline. Especially in Dubai, where so many of us are expats who are far from friends and family whilst making it through  pregnancy or early motherhood without a “village”, often while figuring things out in a new healthcare system, in a new country with new rules and regulations. Expat Mum life can be hard sometimes!

If you're lucky enough to find yourself landing in a good group (like i was what feels like forever ago!), a good group can offer reassurance at 2am (“is this normal?”), and if it's not, which Dubai hospital to head to It can give you local recommendations you can actually trust, as well as real-time info (school updates, traffic, closures, bugs going around), as well as solidarity, reminding you that yes, this too shall pass when the vomiting bug has gone round your entire house, and you're just waiting for it to reach you!

And for many mums, especially new ones, these chats genuinely help mental health — simply because you realise you’re not the only one finding it hard.

The bad: when helpful turns into overwhelming

The problem is that WhatsApp groups don’t have an off switch. There’s no algorithm pacing things, no content moderation (side note, in the good ones there are, you just don't notice it). There's no “are you sure you want to read 187 messages right now?”- because that little red dot still shows in your muted or archived chats....and I can't stand a red dot.

Before you know it, you’re:

• waking up to 300 unread messages
• scrolling through arguments about snacks, screens or sleep
• feeling guilty because everyone else seems to be coping better
• absorbing other people’s anxieties without realising it

And suddenly a group that was meant to be supportive feels… not. This is usually when mums start questioning themselves more than they need to.

The ugly: Comparison, judgement and misinformation

Every mum group has that phase. Where someone asks a genuine question and it all goes pear shaped. Five people give conflicting advice, two people shame them (subtly or not), and one person posts a very confident answer that is… completely wrong. This is where Mums' WhatsApp groups can tip from supportive into unhelpful.

Particularly when it comes to hot topics like baby sleep & feeding (everyone has an opinion, my best advice is you do you, and ignore the noise), developmental issues, school readiness (particularly right now with the new Ministry of Education & KHDA age cut off for schools in Dubai). My biggest problem with Dubai Mums' WhatsApp groups? Medical advice. I see this a lot. Often I'll attempt to gently inform or signpost to the appropriate information, because I'm not there, in the original posters' home. I can't see the baby, I'm not legally allowed to diagnose as I'm a nurse, not a physician. Bad advice could be fatal.

The loudest voice is not always the most informed one. And the danger is that misinformation — especially when repeated — starts to sound like fact.

The downright unsafe: When to step away immediately

This part matters the most. Some WhatsApp mum groups cross lines that shouldn’t be crossed.

Red flags for me include Things like medical advice being given as fact, or “my nanny does this so it must be fine” or unsafe sleep or feeding practices being encouraged. So incredibly dangerous. An dthere are no health visitors or community nurses to correct this misinformation. Others include things like illegal recommendations (own-visa childcare, unlicensed services, etc.), professionals being undermined or dismissed and my absolute favourite, aggressive judgement disguised as “honesty”. It's like putting a smiley face after a sentence telling someone you think they're useless.

If a group makes you feel anxious, judged, or pressured to ignore your instincts — that’s your cue. You are allowed to leave. You don’t need to announce it and you don’t owe anyone an explanation. If someone does judge you- they're not your people.

How to tell if you’ve found a good mum group

The best groups tend to have a few things in common, one of the main ones being that there are professionals in the chat (who are also mums). Who are not there to just to sell to a captive (and often vulnerable) audience, but who are there to offer advice carefully, not aggressively, to signpost rather than diagnose. When differences are respected, because here in Dubai, we are all from very different cultures, and we NEED to remember that (another side note, i'm not perfect. I often type in a hurry, so can sometimes come across as a bit abrupt. We've all been there). Ideally, admin will step in if it all gets a little bit too heated, and finally, no one pretends to have all the answers

Good groups don’t try to replace professional support — they support parents in finding it. That’s a huge difference.

What Whatsapp groups are actually useful for

Used well, mum chats are great for:

• local recommendations (nurseries, classes, services)
• logistics (“does anyone know if…”)
• community updates
• playdate coordination
• solidarity and humour
• normalising hard days

They’re not ideal for:

• medical decision-making
• sleep or feeding plans
• diagnosing behaviour or development
• high-stakes choices driven by fear

Think of them as community noticeboards, not expert panels.

Mum chat burnout is real (and so very Dubai)

Dubai mums often sit at the intersection of about 5 (at least) WhatsApp groups. The school class WhatsApp is literally like a full time job. I take my hat off to the two mums that run ours, I'd genuinely be lost without them! Once upon a time, I thought i was the type of Mum who would be organised and run the WhatsApp group. Then I started a business. And here we are. Nanny/Driver chats. Yes, a very privileged Dubai problem, but a problem nonetheless. On a side note, is it a privilege to have someone help with our children and our home logistics? When we have no one else because we live so far from home? And yes- we chose this life, but we absolutely shouldn't feel guilty about not being able to manage it all. This is definitely a topic for another blog post! We have friend groups (Dubai is, for sure a work hard/play hard culture). We have family WhatsApp chats, who forget that yes, although we live in the sun, it's not a permanent holiday. We still do laundry, and we still do school runs in the horrendous Dubai traffic. And the final and most overwhelming one for me, are the work chats. Primarily because I have terrible boundaries, want to help and feel like I must immediately respond to someone's crisis. That's on me, not the families I work with, but it doesn't mean that it's not a lot.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed:

• mute aggressively
• check once or twice a day only
• leave groups that don’t serve you anymore. Forget the FOMO
• remind yourself you don’t need to keep up with everything

Protecting your mental space is not rude — it’s necessary. That's one thing being in my 40s has certainly taught me.

WhatsApp mum groups can be incredibly supportive, informative and grounding. Literal lifesavers, Dubai can be a very lonely place. But they can also be overwhelming, misleading and anxiety-fuelled. All of these things can be true at the same time. Always remember that comparison is the thief of joy.

So use WhatsApp group chats. Use them for connection, not comparison. For information, not instruction. For support, not pressure. And if a group no longer feels helpful? You’re allowed to step away — quietly, without guilt and without explaining yourself. Motherhood is hard enough without carrying everyone else’s bags too.

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