Why do parents give up on sleep coaching?

Why do parents give up on sleep coaching? 

There’s no doubt that sleep training can be a difficult process for parents and children alike. Because of this, many parents find themselves considering the possibility of stopping the process when their child is having difficulties sleeping. Ultimately, some parents eventually give up on sleep coaching and abandon the idea of helping their children establish better sleeping habits.

5 reasons why parents may decide to abandon sleep coaching:

Lack of consistency

Sleep coaching requires dedication and commitment from both parties to succeed. When either parent becomes inconsistent with carrying out bedtime rules, it can quickly lead to confusion and difficulty establishing good sleep habits over time. Inconsistency can really confuse a child, isn’t fair to them and can actually slow down overall sleep training progress.

Fear of damaging the relationship

Many parents worry that sleep training means ‘Cry it out’. This isn’t the case. You can absolutely sleep coach your child whilst still being responsive and supportive of their needs. It’s ok to have and maintain your own boundaries too. That's why it's worth working with a sleep coach to determine the right sleep training method for your family.

Unclear expectations

Establishing expectations around sleep training can be difficult as every family situation is different. So many sleep coaches advertising is centred around ‘I had sleep training success in just 3 nights!’. Sometimes this happens, but more often you are looking at several weeks to months, depending on which method you choose to sleep train.. It’s important to have realistic expectations before you start a programme so that you can celebrate the wins rather than seeing things as failing because your child isn’t ‘sleeping through’. Everyone’s wins will look different in sleep training. On that note, 'sleeping through' looks different to every family. For example, those that co-sleep and breastfeed on demand, mothers can often be unaware of the child latching on overnight, or only vaguely aware. So to them, this is 'sleeping through', even though their little one is actually waking several times a night to feed. This is because no active interventions are needed from either parent that requires full waking.

Not enough time

Sleep coaching requires patience and devotion, two things which some parents may struggle to find due to work, busy schedules, siblings or other commitments. And that's life. A good sleep coach will tailor your sleep training programme so that its works well with your family's environment. There is usually some sort of 'meeting in the middle' with regards to this, especially at the start of sleep coaching.

Too much stress

Trying to get your child into better sleeping habits can be draining at times if there are no signs of improvement. It’s important to speak with your sleep coach if the sleep training process is feeling too overwhelming and to look at tweaking the plan slightly to help your child find better sleeping habits. Sleep is not linear, therefore sleep plans are not static, and I can honestly say that I have very rarely completed a sleep training programme with a family without adjusting the plan throughout. Babies are not robots, and almost never read the guidance manual on what they're supposed to do and how to do it!

In summary...

Ultimately, sleep coaching is a great way to help children establish better sleeping habits but requires dedication and commitment from you, your child, and any support network you may have. Once you’ve decided sleep training is right for you, don’t hesitate to ask for support or advice when needed, and remember to stay consistent. Inconsistency is unfair to your child, can prolong the process and .

If you would like to discuss moving forward with a sleep training programme with individual support from me, you can book in a free consult call to see how I can help.

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