Embracing your new identity: Growing into motherhood

Becoming a mother is often described as the most beautiful, life-changing experience a woman can have. But what people don’t always tell you is that it can also feel like a complete unraveling of the self you once knew.

You might be holding your beautiful baby in your arms — grateful, in awe, totally in love — and yet still feel a strange emptiness. A disconnection from the ‘you’ you used to be.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. This emotional shift has a name: matrescence — the process of becoming a mother. It’s as real and powerful as adolescence, and it comes with all the hormonal, emotional and psychological changes to match.

Whether you’re a pregnant woman preparing for your baby’s arrival, a mum returning to work here in Dubai or the MENA region, or a parent navigating toddler tantrums with one hand while making dinner with the other — this blog is for you.

What is matrescence and why does it matter?

Matrescence is the transition a woman goes through as she becomes a mother. Coined by anthropologist Dana Raphael in the 1970s (yes, the same woman who gave us the word "doula"!), it refers to the physical, emotional, hormonal and social changes that begin in pregnancy and can continue for years after birth.

Just like teenagers are navigating new bodies, roles and identities, mothers are too. You’re not just caring for a baby — it feels like being reborn yourself.

Yet unlike adolescence, matrescence isn’t widely understood or supported. Which means many mums are left wondering things like:

• Why do I feel like I’ve lost myself?
• Will I ever feel like ‘me’ again?
• Is it okay to love my child but not love this stage?

The answer? Yes, yes and absolutely yes. Whatever you feel is valid. That's probably the first lesson in motherhood.

Why you might feel lost after becoming a Mum

Let’s get real: the early days (and months!) of motherhood can be overwhelming. Your body feels different. Your relationships shift. Your career might be on pause or changing. Sleep is broken. Your days revolve around feeding, soothing, nappies, and repeating.

It's not unusual for mums of newborns, babies and even toddlers to feel:

• A loss of freedom or independence
• Guilt for not “loving every minute” (and you might just punch the next person who tells you to)
• Frustration at the mental load
• Fear about returning to work or leaving your child with someone else
• Loneliness, even when surrounded by people

This is part of the identity crisis of motherhood — a normal but tough experience that deserves understanding, not silence.

5 ways to navigate the identity shift of motherhood

I always say that sleep coaching isn't just about sleep, and I stand by that. At Lullabies, we support parents through every phase of their journey. Antenatal, postnatal, established Mama— with a holistic, gentle and empowering approach. The key is listening, so that we can both identify what you need. Here are some strategies that might help you feel more grounded as you find your way in your new identity:

1. Name it to tame it

Simply knowing that what you're feeling has a name — matrescence — can be incredibly validating. You’re not “going mad”, and you’re definitely not alone. It gives you a starting point for a good old bit of Google research to help you understand what's happening in your mind, body and life.

2. Give yourself permission to grieve

You can love your baby and still miss your old life. Grieving your pre-baby freedom, career identity or spontaneity doesn’t make you a bad mum — it makes you a human one.

3. Reconnect with your passions

Find small ways to reconnect with who you were before motherhood — whether it’s reading, yoga, music, journaling or catching up with friends (without a nappy bag in sight!). Even if you do have a nappy bag (and a baby!) with you, we're incredibly fortunate to have nannies on hand at most events to hold the baby if you want while you enjoy that hot coffee.

4. Build your village

It's cheesy but it's true. There's a reason everyone says it. Join a local mums' group in Dubai, attend a baby massage or sleep workshop, or connect with other parents feeling their way through similar challenges. You were never meant to do this alone.

5. Seek support

Whether it’s a lactation consultant, sleep coach, prenatal educator, or mental health support, leaning on professionals who understand the emotional and physical load of motherhood can be life changing. Lullabies is here to walk alongside you — gently and without judgement.

You’re not lost — You’re becoming

As your baby grows and changes, so will you. Becoming a mum doesn’t mean losing yourself — it means expanding into a richer, deeper version of you. One who can advocate, love more deeply than you ever imagined, grow and still dream your dreams. They may just look a little different than they used to.

If you’re in the thick of it — exhausted, emotional and wondering who you are now — know this: it’s okay to feel a bit broken. That’s how the light gets in.

‍

Lullabies is here to support you through the early years — with compassion, expertise and a lot of tea!

Remember to follow us on Instagram at @lullabiesdxb or drop me a DM if I can support you in any way.

‍