Guest Blog: Nikki Steele-Osborne on Parental Mental Health Awareness Week

As we step into Parental Mental Health Awareness Week, I'm really pleased to have a guest blog from Nikki Steele-Osborne (A.K.A Th Scottish Soul Sister). Nikki is a huge advocate for parental mental health and wellbeing, for whichever parent that may be. Over to Nikki!

If you know me then you know that I do not only support birth mothers, I am all about the Dads or partners, foster, adoptive and step parents too! When a new child comes into the home there can be huge shifts in the dynamics within the household, such as:

• Sleep
• Changes in the financial landscape
• Daily routines and habits
• Diet and exercise
• Relationships
• Expectations
• Identity
• Needs being met
• Mental and physical wellbeing

We need to be having more honest conversations around supporting everyone in the household. As a Mum who suffered from Post Partum Depression when our son was born in 2017, I can say without a shadow of a doubt that this had a huge effect on my husband.

He was also navigating this new territory as a Dad and not only did his new baby need cared for.....his partner in crime did too!

Back to work with less sleep, the financial burden weighing heavier on his shoulders as the sole earner whilst I stayed home to care for our son, less time for exercise, his own anxieties around raising a child all whilst living overseas and so not having proximity to the support of family and friends were as prominent as the overwhelming love and joy at having our much longed for son........ So no pressure then to keep it all together!

Yet, not many people think about this. Whilst a birth Mum may be recovering from the delivery of the little one there is often a narrative that “nothing has changed for him!”.........

That's not quite accurate though is it??

Often in a relationship there will be one partner who harnesses the masculine energy. They are likely to be the ones who ‘fix’ things! But what happens when they don't know how to “fix” theirpartner.....when they don't know how to “fix” the emotional rollercoaster that often accompanies that cutie patootie baby?

This is why I now support families with guidance leaning into Simple, Sustainable Self care.

With no sugarcoating or scaremongering, I encourage parents to meet their own six human needs as they parent with a practical and personalised foundation of personal development and self care.

Here is how you can begin that self care whether you are an expecting parent, a new parent or simply a tired one!

Imagine you have three “accounts”:

Account 1:

This is your ‘MEDICAL” account. Keeping on top of your physical needs with blood tests and check ups to determine vitamin deficiencies or hormone imbalances, mammograms, smear tests, prostate checks...anything that affects your physical wellbeing.

Account 2:

This is your “LUXURY” account. Engaging in the things that bring you pleasure but are not everyday occurrences. Spa days, outings, trips, events, girls night, boys night, stuff like that!

Account 3:

This is your “DAILY” account which is where I believe the real power lies in navigating all things life...such as parenting! This is about honest conversations around expectations within the home, money, housework, meal preparation, time management. Assessing morning routines, external stimulus, social activities, habits and routines.

These lists are not exhaustive! Creating a foundation of self care based on these ‘accounts”, raising awareness and implementing small shifts can have a huge impact.

Please know you are not alone and there are people like me who are here to support you. I got you!

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Nikki x
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The Scottish Soul Sister

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Check out Nikki's Instagram

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